Terbang, Datang, dan Pergi.

Kupu-kupu datang atas nama cinta.
Meski ranting tak mendapat kabar berita,
Kukirimkan merpati putih sebagai pertanda;

Bisikan bulan yang merindu,
Menyambut tatapan bintang yang tersendu

Dan tak lagi untuk yang lain,
Sampai degup ini terhenti.
Ketika usang menyampaikan,
Yang tak sempat tersampaikan.

A//
December, 28th 2014
-Azmeirina-

Seteguk Suap

Satu persatu kaki melangkah
Menjajal sejuknya pagi di pinggir kota
Dan tak sedikit yang berani mengadu nasib
Demi sesuap nasi dan seteguk air.

Peluh pun tak kuasa menahan hasratnya
Dan terus saja membanting dirinya
Membanjiri ciptaan-Nya yang tertatih
Memberi kesan lunglai pada yang punya.

Namun ternyata peluh bukanlah apa,
Pada apa yang menjadikannya segala.

A//

December, 19th 2014

-Azmeirina-

Oktober.

Musim Gugur.

Ketika aku, kau, bertemu,

Kata mereka, kita satu.
Kata dunia, kita padu.

Tapi kataku, kita keliru.




A//
October, 13th 2014
-Azmeirina-

Mind and Soul

"Surtout, pense pas de mal de moi de mon romantisme. T'aimer, si fort toujours si lain dans la folie tu vois" 

Ill-usion

I went to the station,
Looking out for someone that I had been waiting for
I saw them was sitting right there,
With those curious face that I hadn't seen for so long

It was 9 am until the train came to the station
They took my hand, protected me from anybody who seemed scary, and helped me getting into the train

I was feeling like a group of trashes inside the train
It was full and so everybody couldn't even make a move
Despite of feeling insecure, all of a sudden I felt so comfy
Their arms were linking into my body,
I was feeling protected, comfy, or even more than loved
Call me an old-fashioned, but I had never felt this way before
Never been this comfy, never been this loved..
So time went by as those warm hugs made felt like disorientation 

We were arrived at the final station
We stepped out from the train, walked down the never-ending stairs at the station
I didn't mind with my foots, legs
What's not to love about walking with your fav ones?
If there were 100 stairs at that time, I would like to add 1000 more stairs so I could be more enjoying the time we were holding each other

But then I slipped the stairs, I fell so hard until I couldn't open my eyes for a while
It was totally dark, and I was like sleeping that time
As I opened my eyes, I was surrounded by lot of people, asking if I was okay
Ignoring their question, I asked them back whether they saw the one who walked with me or not
They told me that I was walking down the stairs alone

People kept telling me I'm pale and frail
I felt confuse with what was happened that time
Those face that I saw at the first station, those hand that hold me tight at the train, those people that spinning on my mind 
I wondered and asked myself who were they, why even their touch I can't let go
And suddenly something hardly stabbed my chest, I couldn't see but I could feel it, something called intuition
Made me realize that all I had done was just my own illusion.

A//cd
December, 16th 2014
-Azmeirina-

Ibu Kota

Aku melangkah menyusuri jalanan

Bertatap muka dengan pekatnya asap ibu kota

Meski hati tak sudi setengah mati

Meski dada terasa pekak pun lelah

Setapak demi setapak kuhadapi, karena ini konsekuensi

Pagi pun tak sejuk

Malam pun tak dingin

Hati pun tak puas

Seluruhnya berjuang disini,

Tak kenal waktu

Halal, haram, tak jadi pandangan

Demi segenggam kehidupan akan masa depan

A//

December, 15th 2014

-Azmeirina-

The First Man on Earth

Merah bata asalnya, namun tak merah kenyataannya
Tegap diciptakannya, begitu gagah sebagai pemimpin
Tuhan bilang ia kena kutukan, akibat tak mendengar apa kata-Nya

Itu yang kutahu tentangnya,
Namun aku punya cerita tentangnya yang disana
Yang sangat lihat dalam memainkan jari lentiknya
Melodi indah yang dilantunkan dalam setiap petikan

Begitu jeli bola matanya menerka alam sekitar
Membingkai kehidupan sebagai buah tangan untuk masa depan
Tapi aku tak suka tangannya yang lebih sering menekan tombol itu,
Aku telah terlanjur cinta pada petikannya

Di balik kaca bening itu, 
Terdapat bola putih karya Tuhan yang kerap kuperhatikan dalam diam
Gerak-geriknya yang begitu lugu, polos, namun tegas
Kebahagiaan akan hidup tersirat dalam senyumnya

Ia, salah satu alasan yang membuat pagar putihku berjejer gagah
Kadang membuat hati tergelitik, dalam malu.

A//ar

September, 19th 2011

-Azmeirina-

Tak Ada Lagi

Tak ada lagi,
Dan tak lagi untuk yang lain.

Ditatap, atau menatap
Digenggam, atau menggenggam
Dipangku, atau memangku

Yang tersirat dari pertemuan.

Meski ini kilat perpisahan.

Dan tak ada lagi.

A//cd
December, 15th 2014
-Azmeirina-

MORTUI VIVOS DOCENT

Banyak orang bilang,
Kesembuhan datang darinya
Namun ku bilang,
Kesembuhan datang dari Tuhan

Dia bukan dewa, bukan juga Fortuna
Dan tak lebih dari keturunan anak cucu Adam
Buat apa kau jumawa jika Tuhan yang berkehendak?
Tak ada padamu kuasa atas segala, tak juga mencabut atau menghidupkan nyawa

Engkau bukan pemimpin,
Yang tak seharusnya berorasi
Engkau bukanlah penyair,
Yang tak seharusnya berkilah lidah

Bersyukurlah kau pada Tuhan
Karena-Nya atas amanah yang kau emban
Karena-Nya kau beramal
Ikhlaslah, kawan.

A//
December, 15th 2014
-Azmeirina-

Ciputat - Pondok Labu

Pagi ini di Ciputat, sejuk
Setengah enam aku berjalan menikmati dayuh angin
Sambil menanti angkutan yang kiranya akan datang menghampiri

Pagi ini di Lebak Bulus,
Tak lagi sejuk, padat
Sambil berjalan mencari angkutan lainnya
Yang akan menghantarku ke terminal selanjutnya

Pagi ini di Pondok Labu,
Riuh, tak kondusif seadanya
Pasar yang tak pernah sepi
Ditemani amis dan insekta yang bertebaran

Dan aku sampai disini,
Dengan berbagai mobil angkutan yang membawaku ke suatu tujuan,
Meski jauh dan berliku,
Seperti rindu yang membawamu dalam dekap.









A//
December, 15th 2014
-Azmeirina-

The Fallen Flowers

I believe in the magic of eye
As a bridge between two birds
For them to play, and dance
For them to get the clique

I believe in the magic of time
As a place between two birds
For them to shout, and share
For them to get cliche

I believe in the magic of touch
As a soul-binding between two birds
For them to know, and realize
For them to feel the hype,

of the Fallen Flowers.

A//cd
November, 30th 2014
-Azmeirina-

Touchfull Story

This is from my tumblr, and this story inspired me a lot about the difference between bored and got-no-feeling.

Married or not you should read this…


“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up

Bbbbbbback!

Hello people! back again with me Aisya after years I wasn't blogging and from now on I'm gonna blogging again to share my feelings, thoughts, or anything that I wanna write here. This year, I moved into another university because this is what I was dreaming of: Being a medical student. I can't be any happier than this because I'm getting closer and closer to reach my dreams. 

Uhm well, talking about my blog, sometimes my writings are in English, sometimes in Indonesian. So welcome back again to my blog! People are free to judge, but remember, God is the only one who knows every single thing. Adios!

-Azmeirina (Aisya)-